got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
God, I missed his penis.
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