how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
