I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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