I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
