apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
