Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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