We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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