I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
