i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
