I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
