i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
