My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize