Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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