Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
