no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
