Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize