I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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