i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
