I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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