turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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