why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
