it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
