If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.