I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name