Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance