yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
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See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.