Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.

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  (407): in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead. http://tfl.nu/kxwf
  Replies (15) Good night (2849) Bad night (733)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?

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  (202): like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"? http://tfl.nu/e2lv
  Replies (36) Good night (543) Bad night (3061)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.

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  (412): He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q9b8
  Replies (26) Good night (1132) Bad night (5886)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.

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  (401): Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday. http://tfl.nu/wqr0
  Replies (6) Good night (2997) Bad night (935)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon

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  (715): yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon http://tfl.nu/62g9
  Replies (7) Good night (636) Bad night (1347)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.

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  (573): So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs. http://tfl.nu/477y
  Replies (12) Good night (2630) Bad night (653)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.

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  (978): I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground. http://tfl.nu/oy4l
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (701)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT

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  (828): HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS. (336): TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT http://tfl.nu/5rl9
  Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (567)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .

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  (206): At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks . http://tfl.nu/kxjn
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (800)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead

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  (850): My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead http://tfl.nu/ahqq
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (1223)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.

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  (303): Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture. http://tfl.nu/4zls
  Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (377)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.

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  (206): View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well. http://tfl.nu/3wj0
  Replies (3) Good night (989) Bad night (312)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.

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  (603): seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed. http://tfl.nu/l8pu
  Replies (6) Good night (281) Bad night (453)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.

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  (484): You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist. http://tfl.nu/h22k
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (310)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.

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  (206): Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome. http://tfl.nu/oir7
  Replies (3) Good night (447) Bad night (349)

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