scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
