So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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