I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize