so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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