If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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