Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
