You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
