omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
