you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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