Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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