im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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