Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true

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(616): its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true http://tfl.nu/528i

Replies (4) Good night (1781) Bad night (1179)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei

Replies (8) Good night (2172) Bad night (509)
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(616): View more from Michigan

GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?

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(616): GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore? http://tfl.nu/fc2z

Replies (72) Good night (541) Bad night (3027)
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(+34): View more from Spain

Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

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(+34): Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow. http://tfl.nu/qh3w

Replies (16) Good night (4247) Bad night (686)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.

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(401): the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH. http://tfl.nu/dbk1

Replies (45) Good night (6797) Bad night (788)
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(407): View more from Florida

she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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(407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph

Replies (86) Good night (14662) Bad night (2457)
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(909): View more from California

The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."

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(909): The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling." http://tfl.nu/73er

Replies (20) Good night (8690) Bad night (1391)
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(817): View more from Texas

I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.

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(817): I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno. http://tfl.nu/gzp0

Replies (4) Good night (1927) Bad night (1260)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.

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(610): Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it. http://tfl.nu/tp8b

Replies (6) Good night (3899) Bad night (791)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.

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(919): I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned. http://tfl.nu/aln7

Replies (4) Good night (1869) Bad night (579)
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(512): View more from Texas

He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.

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(512): He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips. http://tfl.nu/61sy

Replies (5) Good night (694) Bad night (1157)
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(406): View more from Montana

You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.

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(406): You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock. http://tfl.nu/e7xz

Replies (8) Good night (920) Bad night (413)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....

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(605): But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday.... http://tfl.nu/rigs

Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (416)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.

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(480): I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight. http://tfl.nu/cc82

Replies (4) Good night (436) Bad night (787)
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(416): View more from Toronto

i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order

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(416): i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order http://tfl.nu/07m4

Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (240)

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