Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

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  (816): i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants http://tfl.nu/4te8
  Replies (6) Good night (2183) Bad night (713)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin

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  (203): Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin http://tfl.nu/pqe0
  Replies (26) Good night (5257) Bad night (1303)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.

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  (989): It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here. http://tfl.nu/e0yb
  Replies (6) Good night (3365) Bad night (1238)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.

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  (724): Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips. http://tfl.nu/myh4
  Replies (5) Good night (2830) Bad night (965)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

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  (330): Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea. http://tfl.nu/s5sl
  Replies (4) Good night (2490) Bad night (762)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.

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  (304): You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate. http://tfl.nu/m6lj
  Replies (6) Good night (2443) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long

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  (412): My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long http://tfl.nu/fuyb
  Replies (1) Good night (1030) Bad night (1616)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1773) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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  (406): Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit. http://tfl.nu/3sfk
  Replies (14) Good night (3726) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.

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  (407): Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship. http://tfl.nu/8uzj
  Replies (5) Good night (876) Bad night (484)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?

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  (405): Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it? http://tfl.nu/wmow
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.

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  (+44): By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder. http://tfl.nu/khml
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.

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  (203): My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice. http://tfl.nu/5nl5
  Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick

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  (502): Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick http://tfl.nu/wl0y
  Replies (6) Good night (280) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.

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  (609): The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here. http://tfl.nu/fl13
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (445)

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