belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
