Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.

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(231): Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it. http://tfl.nu/ct5c

Replies (8) Good night (4453) Bad night (535)
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(517): View more from Michigan

can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised

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(517): can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised http://tfl.nu/5ukp

Replies (10) Good night (3910) Bad night (1308)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.

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(412): She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out... (412): She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7. http://tfl.nu/j9aq

Replies (11) Good night (4250) Bad night (1023)
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(515): View more from Iowa

This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.

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(515): This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking. http://tfl.nu/zh63

Replies (4) Good night (2476) Bad night (777)
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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.

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(340): $1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end. http://tfl.nu/eqa9

Replies (4) Good night (3632) Bad night (728)
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(515): View more from Iowa

What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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(515): What did I eat last night that was bloody? http://tfl.nu/5wrj

Replies (30) Good night (962) Bad night (5198)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.

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(504): Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high. http://tfl.nu/srpn

Replies (11) Good night (4915) Bad night (801)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

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(647): Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine. http://tfl.nu/8bqc

Replies (7) Good night (851) Bad night (2065)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.

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(706): I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat. http://tfl.nu/8z1a

Replies (30) Good night (656) Bad night (6015)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything

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(706): I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything http://tfl.nu/u65o

Replies (11) Good night (1362) Bad night (692)
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(719): View more from Colorado

New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.

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(719): New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget. http://tfl.nu/qqak

Replies (9) Good night (468) Bad night (1576)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

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(918): She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup. http://tfl.nu/rkhg

Replies (8) Good night (779) Bad night (1520)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.

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(570): After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother. (1-570): Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off. http://tfl.nu/5ewz

Replies (6) Good night (1865) Bad night (473)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....

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(847): Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships.... http://tfl.nu/9uw5

Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (485)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.

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(724): A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume. http://tfl.nu/l1hl

Replies (1) Good night (957) Bad night (245)

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