I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one