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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (516): View more from New York

  today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk

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