i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
