rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
