wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize