This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
