I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
