Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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