Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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