so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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