you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
