I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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