you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
