he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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