I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
worst night to have a conscience
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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