Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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