Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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