Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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