i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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