It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
