so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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