I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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