That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
