Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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