He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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