i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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