He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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