he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
