You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
