covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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