My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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