Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
