kristin has been a bad kristin
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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