I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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